I have to admit, I've never felt this strong affections for any one. It just takes me around, in a spiral, higher, higher, and higher. Takes me high to such level that I lose track of time. I just come to my senses, realizing that we've had spent 4 hours with each other, driving around town, grabbing a bite somewhere, and a long hard discussion about a mixture of our topics of interest.
And what happens next? An old friend comes knocking. Knock Knock. Here comes the fucked up part of your brain, and he wants to screw all the things you made today. It comes, out of nowhere, and fucks everything left, right and center.
Part of my mind is going to spend the rest of the evening, finding reasons for me to blame myself, on what I did wrong throughout the mid-day with her. Then, when it is sure it has found it all, it goes back throughout the days, throughout people, acts, and days. Blames me for every piece of simple wrong act I had.
I fought you so hard, I kicked you out so bad, and now, that I started feeling better from all the pain you caused, suddenly you are back from hell, you freaking THOUGHT TUMOR!?
P.S: Title goes both for the state of mind, and for the awesome song by Aerosmith.
