356 - I hope ...

It happened. I'm going to remember, it finally happened on a Tuesday morning.

My grandma can barely breathe now. She has been fighting with all kinds of sickness that comes with age, and recently she started getting weaker and weaker every week. I never believed, never wanted to believe that my one and only caring grandma is getting sick, is not able to live the life as she used. Never did I want to realize that she might be gone, sooner or later.

When I woke up on Tuesday morning, she couldn't breathe well any more. My mom took her to hospital, where they took some water out of her lungs, and hooked her on a device to help her breathe. She has devices strapped to her, helping her do the fundamental acts of a living human with ease, not having to put all her energy to breathe in or breathe out. When I was told about this, that moment I knew that my all powerful granny is powerless now. That moment I realized that she might leave us soon, way sooner than I always thought it might happen.

I can look at the past, and be happy for all the times I've shown her how much I loved her. For all the days that I payed her a visit on the way going home from school. For all the times I had a small change in my pocket as a kid, and I bought her some bread, so she can have dinner with some freshly baked bread. For all the days in the past months, leading to this hellish Tuesday, that I've been visiting her, although her ears barely heard any thing I said, although I had to shout every freaking single word.

I loved her, before it was late. And I'd be happy, with all I have done, for the rest of my life. I'd never look back, saying "Well, I should have shown my grandma more love."

But I sure as hell would be sorry for my uncles, for my cousins. For all of them. Over the past years, over the past 23 years, I've been the only grand child around. I've been the only grand child who actually gave her enough attention, after all she has done for all of us as children. Make no mistake, all of them are here in Tehran, and a lot of them live close by. My mom has been the only legitimate child for her over the course of past 5 years, and although two of her brothers are living in the same town, and one leaves in the same neighborhood, my mom has been the only child who has been caring for her mom.

So this is to you, my dear cousins and my dearest uncles. YOU SUCK! You didn't deserve a bit of the respect I've shown all of you as the youngest person in the family over the past years. You've left this poor old woman, your mom, your grandma, and when it finally happens, all of you would come around, wearing black, saying that you're sorry. But all the time she was alive and awake, did you ever think about her? Did you ever think to take an hour off your precious days and pay her a visit? Take a penny of your precious pockets and buy her a flower?

Non of you, and I mean non of you ever knew how to love, and none of you have ever deserved the smallest amount of love I've given you. Non of you deserved to call me your nephew, or to call me your cousin.

I hope, I just hope, that when all is said and done, I still have the strength to not punch any of you right in the face, asking you out loud in front of every one, that what on earth did you do for this person, for this person that you are crying for in her funeral.

I hope you all rot in your dumb ways of life, in this loveless, crappy life of yours.

And I hope, and I pray to God if any is out there, that I never go down the route of this loveless life of yours.

355 - Transition/Back

Is it destiny, is it accident? Do we even care?

I know I don't. All I care about these days is simple. I wake up, and the very first thing I feel is motivation. We all did awesome until now, and we are going to be more and more awesome as days pass. We have one direction, upwards. Upwards is all I care about right now.

It's all I should have ever cared about. But sometimes, just sometimes, I forgot what is important and what is not. But now, I'm all focused. All back on track. Don't you love it when this happens? I do.

I'm not planning to see what happened to me, why was I losing motivation. But I know right now, I'm all back on track, all planning to go Upwards, and not anywhere else.

So, this goes to all my awesome friends/colleagues here in Chaapaarak.

Thank you, for all the life you've put back in me.

354 - Alimohammad "The Alpha" Foroutannezhad

آه فروتن نژاد، آه، که من برای تو ده هزار تومان ویتامین ث خریدم و تو رفتی با یه زید دیگه.
آه فروتن نژاد.
( از خلال درددل‌های یکی از عشاق آقای فروتن‌نژاد )

پ.ن: عنوان مطلب از پغی

353 - Brainless

We, as humans, have survived all the decades and centuries, and sadness has not gotten us and our minds down to dirt only because we have learnt how to counter what we don't like. We all know why we have survived this long. One word, "Brain".

Our brain is a fantastic machine. It knows how to make us happy, how to make us sad. Hell, it even made us call it "Brain" and not "Banana" or "Arsenal".

Through centuries, those of us who had stronger brains have been using it more than others, thus have achieved more. Our civilizations as parts, and the Human Civilization as a collective community has grown on the back of those whose brain has worked better.

Among our smart talents, those who have managed to fill their entire brain's capacity, have managed to live a fruitful and peaceful life. But those who failed in filling their brain, have suffered a fruitful yet not peaceful life.

If we let a fast brain to it's own device, it would make sadness out of any thing around, and it would make way to it's own fast and inevitable demise.

۳۵۲ - میر مست و خواجه مست و یار مست اغیار مست

صد و هفتاد پنج نفر رو بعد از این همه سال برگردوندند.

دلمون ضعف میرفت با هر کلمه ای که در موردشون می شنیدیم. با هر لحظه ای که بهشون فکر می کردیم.

هنوز هم نمی تونم تصور کنم اون مادرها بعد از این همه سال، وقتی بالاخره فهمیدند که چی بر سر بچه شون اومده، چی کشیدند.

ولی دم همه شون گرم. روحشون، اگر سرای دیگری هست، شاد.

من و هزاران هزار نفر دیگر، مدیون اونهاییم.

«ز مستی بر سر هر قطعه زین خاک / خدا داند چه افسرها که رفته»

عنوان مطلب از غزل مولوی به مطلع «ساربانا اشتران بین سر به سر قطار مست»

351 - Luis Suárez

I have never been a fan of his. Hell, I've never been a real soccer fan, after I got introduced to the pure sport, Basketball, and the pure competition in the form of NBA.

Recently, I've seen Suárez's picture around town a lot. He has been part of the Adidas campaign, #ThereWillBeHaters. [I can't congratulate Adidas enough on their awesome choice of him. We all know how hater-prone Suárez is. ]

This is it. This is all there is in this world. If you get a pair of new shoes, people are jealous, cause they want them to be theirs. Same goes for literally anything else.

You got a new, awesome job. Guess what, there are some of your acquaintances and friends, who are jealous.

In a world full of competition, this is the result. People start as being jealous after a competition, when they don't finish first. Through days and years, being a hater becomes normal, and people get used to it. Before you know it, you are being jealous, hating on people, for a competition you were never in.

Being jealouse, Hating, is not the way of good people. At some point you need to stop. Well, if you never started, that's perfect. But if you have started already, you need to stop. At some point, you need to stop being a part of a huge and wrong culture, the culture of hate.

It's dumb to hate.

Thanks for reminding me of that on daily basis, Adidas.